So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
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and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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