Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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