thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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