dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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