yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
