I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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