Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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