You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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