I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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