You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You can't special order awesome
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
