his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
