we're blogging at a bar
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
