so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize