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those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
This house was built for laser tag.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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