ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He? As in you personified your dick?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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