Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
