YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
