it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
