dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
