That's intense
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
