Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just want nice things and good sex
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
