ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
