It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
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haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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