Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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