I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize