i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
