Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
