I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
50% drunk capacity currently
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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