Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Barsexuality is the new black.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
