My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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