I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
