$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize