I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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