well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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