WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
