i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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