Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The adults are the big ones right?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
