Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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