I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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