Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
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