i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
