Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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