I wish i was in the wii world.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
