i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
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I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
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I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.