sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.