Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
