GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
