its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
