hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Quick, to the slutcave!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
