that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
