So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
