I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
