Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
