were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
