she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
