Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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