somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
