What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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