So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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