found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
